Joan of Arc
by Sadistic Shroom
Summary: A car accident leaves Joan's life in shambles, her brother dies on impact, and Joan loses a lot more than the ability to walk. OC/Peter Parker Oneshot (I was playing with writing styles)


Summary: A car accident leaves Joan's life in shambles, her brother dies on impact, and Joan loses a lot more than the ability to walk. OC/Peter Parker

Joan of Arc

Joan likes to pretend she could walk. She likes to pretend that it's a choice to sit, that her life doesn't need her to stand.

She likes to pretend she's okay.

She sleeps later than she should, and only gets up when Molly forces her too. Even then, Joan wishes Molly would acknowledge it's pointless.

Joan doesn't need help.

Her parents had long since given up on her, their yelling had ceased and Molly'd offered to take her in.

Molly never blamed Joan. Not even a little.

Her parents sometimes called, asking Molly about the baby.

Their grandson.

Robbie's son.

They didn't want to see it, or know if it was a girl or the name Molly was leaning towards, they just wanted to know that it was healthy.

If you don't look it won't hurt.

Joan could pretend her parents lack of interest didn't affect her, either.

Molly never believed her.

...

Joan taps. It irritates Molly, but since she never says anything about it, Joan continues, just too see.

She'd never say it, but she wants Molly to snap. To tell Joan it's all her fault-that it should have been her instead of him.

Instead, Molly sighs, rubbing her swollen belly in more of a nostalgic motion than anything else.

Joan thinks she pretends it's Robbie sometimes.

They don't say his name-it's become like a foreboding curse, looming and always there, but never spoken of.

Joan blames herself, though she'd never say it out loud.

She knows it isn't her fault, not really. She knows.

Molly tells her every afternoon when she finally forces Joan out of bed, her voice tired, but truthful.

Molly never lied.

"It's not your fault, Joanie. If you never remember another thing I say too you, remember that. It's not your fault." Molly repeats the mantra long after Joan stops listening, and she thinks it's become more of a reminder to Molly than anyone.

Joan knows.

But it doesn't stop her from hating herself for letting him die.

...

She finally goes to class because Molly asks her too. She hardly understands the point-the chair is too bulky and gets in the way.

And people stare.

They see the scars on her face, and can't help themself.

They ask, and Joan tells them 'car accident'.

It doesn't need anymore elaboration, they understand. She doesn't know if it's her tone or the look on her face.

They leave her alone after that.

Joan sits in the back of the class, her nose buried in a book, and she pretends she is just a student studying for a test.

Nobody gives her a second glance.

And Joan likes to think she's feeling better.

She goes home and eats dinner with Molly, and offers to help with the dishes.

Molly cries as she hugs Joan.

"I miss him, Joanie. I really do. I miss him, I miss him so much."

Joan stops pretending after, and so does Molly.

...

When she meets Peter, she's unsure.

Because Peter Parker is just as broken as she is.

Joan doesn't know what happened to him, and she doesn't ask. Just like he doesn't ask about her scars.

They sit together in class, and when Joan finally asks him to have dinner with her, he says no.

The broken expression on his face as he stuttered out the response said enough, and she wondered why he was so afraid.

Joan waited awhile before asking why he was scared to let her in.

So he sits down, and he tells her about Gwen.

How she died, and it was his fault.

Joan feels like a coward when she doesn't tell him about her scars, about Robbie.

She holds him while he cries, and a part of her wonders if she'd ever be okay.

Just okay.

Molly seems glad when she listens to Joan talk about Peter.

Says he's good for her.

Makes her happy.

Joan's just satisfied she no longer has to pretend.

...

They where at a park when she figures it out.

Peter stops suddenly, his head craning in a random direction. He had stared, as if contemplating something before making up an excuse and running off.

Joan watches him duck between some buildings, and starts rolling down the sidewalk once more.

A few moments later Spider-Man swooped by.

Joan pauses, and observes with mild interest.

She connects the dots later that night.

...

Six months of knowing him and she finally tells him.

About Robbie.

About how she was driving.

Peter is the one holding her this time.

She tells Molly that night as she rocks the baby to sleep.

Molly tells her that her parents called, asking about her.

Joan doesn't ask what they wanted.

"I told them about Peter. Not much, just the gist-they don't really understand, but it's better that way," Molly explains.

Better that way.

Joan hopes she's right.

...

The are never officially a couple.

But Molly says you don't label some relationships.

It never bothered Joan.

And when Peter finally kisses her, that's just fine with her too.

...


End file.
